i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
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