please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
he quoted the bible to break up with me
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
