Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
