I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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