yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
