Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
