My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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