Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
