Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
