Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
is it fun? or sober?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
