We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
this must be what syphilis tastes like
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
