Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
