...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
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She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
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The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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