my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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