You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You don't make any sense
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