I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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