Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Alive.
So much puke
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
