Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
