my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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