It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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