so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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