He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
