Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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