The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
