His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
