stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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