I'm jealous of your bromance
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
