Sry I called you an 8
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize