2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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