pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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