I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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