theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The feeling are messing with the penis
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
