if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
pray to the hookup gods
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
