i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
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Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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