I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
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Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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