apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
