Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
