I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Randomize