the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
