so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
