I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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