Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
