if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I didn't shave. On purpose
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Randomize
