So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
