we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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