"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
