you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this boner is exhausting
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
