I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize