Come see our sink grown plant.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
