Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize