You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize