I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
