Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
