So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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