I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize