I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
