Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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