Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize